All Aboard the Dream Train

by The Rear Admirals

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released November 22, 2013

Music and lyrics by Alexander Gates and Samuel Rogerson.
Bitching solos courtesy of Sam.



all rights reserved


The Rear Admirals Melbourne, Australia

one day Alexander Gates and Samuel Rogerson hi-fived and accidentally created the world's greatest two-piece pumping out fresh jams to jack up yer kilt.

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Track Name: Big Dumb Mouth
She wants to kiss me on my big dumb mouth
Who the hell am I to object?
This beautiful house of cards will have to come down.

I know she's just bad news
That's okay because I don't read the papers.

My baby loves it when I hold her down
You know, it takes my breath away just to feel her breathing
The way she dresses, she's way-underground
And when she goes down, I bet she goes down like a demon.

I know she's just bad news
But that's okay because I am too
And if she tries to voice that out loud
I'm going to kiss her again, I'm going to kiss her on her big dumb mouth.

I said "I love you" with my big dumb mouth
Well, she slapped me pretty hard across the face
In for a penny, I'm in for a pound;
"Do you want to slap me around more back at my place?"

Drew me a picture of butterflies
Said "You give me them deep inside.
"And when you kiss me, you let them all out."
So I kissed her again, I kissed her on her big dumb mouth.
Track Name: I'll Never Make You Swoon
Knew all the words to Nemo
Saw the re-release in IMAX
Nostalgia makes you cute, but
Let's see if it's ever made somebody climax.

And on the long ride home
I think I realized
As I saw the look
In her sad, sad eyes;

I'll never make you swoon
I'll never make you swoon
As much as I'd love to,
Well, I'll never make you.

And just to know you can still live your life
Well my misery is inescapable
I find you so appealing
And I think you must find me so goddamn replaceable.

And on the long ride home...

She said "Oh, get some rest.
"You're just tired and you're not making sense.
"Oh, get some rest."
As if I could sleep on a night like this.

She said "We've all got problems, you know."
As she turned the light out one last time
If I spent as much time with her
As I did with my thoughts, maybe she'd still be mine.

And on the long ride home...
Track Name: Treasure Planet
I'm the kind of guy who's got lots of opinions
I'm the kind guy you can depend on
I won't judge my friends because
They're different to me.

Because all my friends have got different opinions
All my friends have got different views
I won't ever condemn them
I won't ever unfriend them.

I'm the kind of guy that doesn't need a fast car
I watch videos on my VCR
My favorite film is still
'Treasure Planet'.

I hope that you can respect me
Just like I respsect you
I hope you can find it in your heart
Not to push the off-button when I push start.

Because I can be whoever I wanna be
And you can be whoever you wanna be
And I can be whoever I wanna be
And you can be whoever you wanna be.

And I'm the kind of guy who wants equality
For everybody under the sun
But I can't view you equally
If you want to take that away from someone.

I'd love to be right all the time
But nobody can be right all the time
I could never justify spending all of life
Believing I was the only one that was right.
Track Name: Starve to Death in Sweater-Vests
"Your mind's a terrible thing to waste on the things that interest you."
He said as he was off his face, because he was wasted too
And he couldn't grasp the irony, well he could barely even grasp his drink
And he doesn't have to read anymore, why would he even have to think?

Our life choices have been questionable at best
BA's all the way, or we'll starve to death in sweater-vests
We'll never be the kids who engineer
New ways to inhale cheap domestic beer.

Force tender poetry on the powers that be
Then make them hear our deafening silence
Bring them to their knees with our three-year degrees
There's the value of studying political science.

Our life choices...

Days that begin before 3pm--I say no more!
Isn't this a developed nation?
Science classes; coats and glasses, Monday morn, crack of dawn
But I want sleep and inspiration, relaxation, mass-procrastination.

Our life choices...
Track Name: Goosey
Yeah, she draws cats on her knees
And yeah, she's got tattoo sleeves
Never has to say thank-you, but
She'll always say please.

Mind of a journalist
Because she asks the tough questions
Like "What's wrong with feminists?"
And "What are your intentions?"

She don't ask for anything;
Don't waste your money on diamond rings
Another bird with a broken wing
And that just makes it more

Hides starry-eyes behind her glasses
Well, I guess she needs to see
Stares right through her glasses
The way she stares right through me.

Been screwed over recently
But not in the way I think she'd love
Says "Life is sick and cruel to me."
Well, I guess she knows her stuff.

She don't ask for anything...

Goosey baby, so soft-spoken
She's perpetually heart-broken
Looks so cool yet she's still smoking
21 years--why is she smoking?
If I could tell her how I feel, she'd be annoyed
If looks could kill, we'd be destroyed
To girls like her, we're all just boys
To girls like her, we're all just boys.

She don't ask for anything...

(High school prom, it's the senior year
I thought that I would see you here
Woah, cheerleading captain
Oh no, what the hell happened?
Shotgun-wedding; I don't care
I saw you in your underwear).
Track Name: The Communist Daughter
I don't wanna know when I die, where will I go
Because I like a little mystery
And I don't wanna know, if there's no such things as UFO's
Because I like a little conspiracy.

And I wanna marry the Communist Daughter
Be the prodigal son of the great red border
Oh, that's how I'd like to be;
Snow beneath my feet.

This beat is my recovery
Cutting up tracks like they did in surgery
Putting the disco back in discography
My darling nearly murdered me.

This conservative gorernment
Makes it too hard to pay my rent
So I never moved out of my mum's place.

There's no room left in them world
For guys who catcall pretty girls
Or ugly girls, or even actual cats.